There’s a spirit inside of me that’s just dying to get out, beyond the confines of flesh and blood. It wants freedom.
In the meantime, it seeks unity with my mind and body. Yes, build the vehicle capable of athletic prowess. Epitomize the combination of beauty and terror that gave birth to its physical form in the first place. Yes, refine the radicalism that conceptualizes through heightened degrees of cognition, feeling, and awareness.
It holds me back and pushes me forward simultaneously. “Don’t do what you can; do what you must.” I trust in faith that sees me both highly elated and deeply despaired.
Like a multi-headed hydra I move in several directions at once, with conflicting views and different desires. Defiant against the tide I am perpetually forceful against force. Comfortable in hot water. Exiled in my uniqueness.
My innate awareness of mental health combined with my knowledge of the brain and the body allows me to experience having my head cut off only to watch two grow back in its place.
Out-thinking my feelings as I try to outsmart my own brain is like shadow boxing at its best. I hit so hard and fast, yet I’m unable to hit hard enough to finish me. Most of the time I don’t even connect. Incessantly I fight back.
My spirit, in it’s divinity, allows me to live through human experiences while fantasizing about being disconnected.
Oftentimes it feels like there’s so much wrong yet nothing’s the matter.
Overwhelmed with too many feelings and thoughts, it’s as if I’m beyond repair yet indestructible.
Survival isn’t instinctive for all of us.
About Mickey Von Bron
Mickey Von Bron is a certified personal trainer who specializes in nutrition, supplements and natural methods of improving health and wellness. Having experienced and overcome many obstacles associated with mental health and addiction, he is committed to inspiring people through his own example. His first book, Drug Free June: A Hypomanic Episode, is soon to be published. You can read some of Mickey's other writing about mental health at AliveAndAwake.ca and Light Way of Thinking.