Sometimes I truly do hate everything I’ve gone through with my mental health. I wish I was just “normal,” and that my whole post-secondary education could have gone smoothly, so that I would be going into my fourth year of university now, instead of switching programs again to start my first year of college.
When I get thoughts like those I have to remember how far I’ve come and how everything was meant to happen just the way it was. I would be nowhere near where I am today if it wasn’t for my mental illness. These last three years I’ve grown more and learned more about myself than in my entire life. I don’t think I would have achieved this experience if I stayed in university this entire time. I’ve grown into an adult and have become the kind of person I’ve wanted to be. I have full control of what I want to do in my life and am pursuing it.
Yes, I still envy some of my friends who are finishing up university, while I am just starting college, but everyone has their own path. It is taking me much longer to finish school, but I’ve gone through a lot.
So if you are going through something right now, and it’s made you feel behind in life, whether you had to stop going to school or work, don’t worry about it. Use the spare time to really get to know yourself more and pursue the things you truly enjoy and new hobbies also. Use this time as a positive time of self-discovery.
About Elena B.
Elena is a 21 year-old college student, sales associate, and volunteer living with depression and generalized & social anxiety. Formally diagnosed with social anxiety in high school, Elena has struggled with it for the majority of her life. During her first year of university she experienced high levels of anxiety and had her first major depressive episode, which was followed by another the following year. Since then she has been recovered and focuses on her recovery daily. She currently runs a tumblr blog, where she shares inspirational quotes, images, and tips to help others with their recovery. Follow Elena’s story on HMC’s Supportive Minds Blog.