You know you’re capable of it. But sometimes it’s not safe…
Give it some gas; clutch, shift into fifth and give it more.
Sounds like a good idea. Good ideas inspire more.
Give me more liquor, give me more caffeine, give me more speed, give me more adrenaline, give me more drugs, give me more food, give me more sex, give me more money. Give me more feeling…
I swear my brain feels like a f*****’ sports car sometimes.
Whether I’m selling something to someone, and my passion for the product allows my mind to use the necessary words, tone of voice, and body language—all while emitting just the right type of energy to infect someone with my desire. Making them want more, too.
They feel it. First their emotions start to move. Little flutters of the heart. Neurological impulses. Then their mind convinces them that their desires are justified; just a little bit of reasoning and few signatures here and there, then boom.
At the gym, you have no idea. I take a cocktail of ergogenic aids to stimulate, hyper focus, intensify, amplify and crush. The entertainment is impossible to explain. Then, I take a margarita of magnesium, gaba, vitamin C and a few other goodies to calm the fuck down…so I can recover and get on with my day. It’s like Formula 1 then driving Ms. Daisy.
More? Have you ever been making a protein shake, preparing a bath and an outfit while making up the bed, doing the dishes and the laundry simultaneously? Or when have you not been doing several things at once, unless the task is incredibly intense? AD/HD has me mixing and matching the chores like a DJ mashing up tunes from different genres, all while making sure the mathematics of the beats per minute are precise. Does more get done faster? I don’t know. But everything seems to get done at once. Then I go for more.
Sex? Are you kidding me!?! Once upon a time I was convinced I was ugly. And there was enough evidence to support my case. Made some changes. Made some effort. It took some time. I wanted girls to be attracted to me at least half as much as I was attracted to them. I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to handle it; I wasn’t built to be able to handle it. From going to a bar and not even being able to entice an alcoholic to have another drink—on me, to having girls come up to me, sit in my lap, sip on my beer, and then say, “Hi.” As if maybe–just maybe, I didn’t notice them. Reminds me of the electric chair. I don’t even flinch while I acclimatize to the electricity running through me, but the stimulation is frying my brain as her energy, aura and presence invigorates mine. Lethal injection and we’d be even, but I just wanna cuddle. A beautiful girl can ruin your life while you thoroughly enjoy the process.
Distractions are hard to avoid. You need them.
Whatever it is that brings you close to some form of mania is exciting, stimulating and relatively enjoyable. But something inside of you always seems to press for more.
As if you just need to know: how fast does it go? How hot can it burn? How hard can it hit? How intense can it be? The eye is never satisfied with just seeing…
You can’t teach desire, and it’s incredibly difficult to unlearn.
About Mickey Von Bron
Mickey Von Bron is a certified personal trainer who specializes in nutrition, supplements and natural methods of improving health and wellness. Having experienced and overcome many obstacles associated with mental health and addiction, he is committed to inspiring people through his own example. His first book, Drug Free June: A Hypomanic Episode, is soon to be published. You can read some of Mickey's other writing about mental health at AliveAndAwake.ca and Light Way of Thinking.