This is my last blog post for Healthy Minds. It’s been a truly frightening process writing about my experience with bulimia and depression. That came as a huge surprise to me.
I’ve confessed things to you that I hadn’t dared speak out loud to anyone. I’ve held my breath many times after pressing send. Telling those deep dark secrets have left knots in my stomach for days.
But airing and exposing those demons has given me strength, too. Once again, I proved to myself that fear doesn’t have to win. That you can try something – like recovery – even if it scares the hell outta you. Especially if it scares you.
I am stronger now than I was just a few months ago. Though I do feel a little exposed, I know I will be fine. I am fine.
I wish I could leave you with some profound words of encouragement. But I don’t know if I can. Because, to be free of a mental illness after suffering for years is an indescribable feeling…one that I hope you already know. And if you don’t know it yet, that you will sometime very soon.
With a herculean inner strength, I will never fall back under the miserable command of bulimia. There is so much more to life than that.
With that black cloud of depression lifted, I am free.
If we all continue to speak up…to stand together…to support each other…to ask for help and to give help…we will all be free.
So long, and thanks for reading!
About Cynthia Alana
Cynthia has battled bulimia (and won), faced depression, and lived with anxiety throughout it all. After realizing she wanted to be a force of good in the world, she tried recovery for 6 months. It’s been years. Travel is her passion, and so is her job: writing for charities. You can follow Cynthia’s story on HMC’s Supportive Minds Blog, and additionally, you can connect with Cynthia on LinkedIn.